The polyamorists next doorz review

Or perhaps a series of op eds Dr Sheff has some really trenchant things to say about the role of men in the modern family Many men in poly families take real responsibility for their children and continue to nurture supportive relationships with children even once they no longer have sex with the children s mother That is precisely what society has expected from women all along that women prioritize their relationships with their children over their sexual relationships with men Women who fail to do this are severely stigmatized and are branded whores and bad mothers Applying that same standard to men is revolutionary and worthy of social and legal attention.

The Polyamorists Next Door pdfescape

But I still stand behind this book as a lone academic look at a complicated but very relevant topic 9781442222953 This book came about from 15 years of research in the poly community from the author For those who continually say What about the kids when it comes to poly people Elisabeth gave those real life important answers I felt like her research was ground breaking in the sense that very few books focus on poly households and the day to day lives of those families I really liked that the author included LGBTQ people and their families as well in her research as well One thing I can say that I was disappointed with is that there was virtually no representation of poly people of color Which I brought up to a friend who s doing research on poly people of color He stated and I agree that the poly community is divided along the color lines Which I feel is very sad All in all I m happy that I read this book 9781442222953 Pros research on children polyaffectivity as a conceptCons almost everyone interviewed is allocishet.

The polyamorists next door pdf

In reading this book I was delighted to learn a new concept polyaffectivity which denotes significant emotional but not sexual connections between partners Apparently triads with a woman and two men where the men aren t sexual with each other are some of the most stable types of poly relationships out there Who knew Plus some of the info on demographics of the community is straight fire I don t know any other author who has so clearly pointed out how white and privileged poly community members tend to be as well as tending toward heterosexual men and bisexual women. Kindle The Polyamorists Next doordash There s so much here to dig into Definitely worth the read if you re looking for a descriptive analysis of polyamory.

The polyamorists next doorz review

Marriage and monogamy are not what they used to be and today many couples are opting to start families before getting married or deciding not to get married at all At the same time gay couples in states that recognize same sex marriage are getting married in droves Some people prefer non monogamy and have relationships that include swinging and polyamory The landscape of American marriage and relationships is changing and a variety of family systems are developing and becoming common The Polyamorists Next Door introduces polyamorous families in which people are free to pursue emotional romantic and sexual relationships with multiple people at the same time openly and with support from their partners sometimes forming multi partner relationships or other arrangements that allow for emotional and sexual freedom within the family system In colorful and moving details this book explores how polyamorous relationships come to be grow and change manage the ins and outs of daily family life and cope with the challenges they face both within their families and from society at large Using polyamorists own words Dr Elisabeth Sheff examines polyamorous households and reveals their advantages disadvantages and the daily lives of those living in them While polyamorous families are increasingly common fairly little is known about them outside of their own social circles or of the occasional media sensationalism This book provides information that will be useful for professionals with polyamorous clients educators who wish to understand or teach about polyamory and especially people who wish to better understand polyamory themselves or explain it to their potential partners adult children or in laws The Polyamorists Next Door Inside Multiple Partner Relationships and FamiliesGreat book Research well is done but can be a bit outdated in parts The demographics are restrictive but it is understandable that it was probably done for the control of the quantitative research I still think it is well worth the read even when it is dry at times as the topic is very important 9781442222953 Novelists need to know polyamory 9781442222953 Ok so I don t know much about how sociology research is typically done But it seems that the research for this book was mostly collected through interviews of volunteers If I was predisposed to think that polyamory is harmful to relationships and families I would be skeptical of evidence to the contrary gathered from a self selected self reporting group of advocates But I guess you ve gotta start somewhere. Epub the polyamorists next door read online With that caveat this was a worthwhile read albeit dry As I suppose one would expect from an academically oriented book A lot of the content would be unsurprising to anyone with poly experience such as the sections on the challenges that poly people face jealousy unicorn hunters couple s privilege etc and the techniques for dealing with them communication honesty agreements etc There were a few sections that framed issues differently than I d thought of them before for example distinguishing between people who identify as poly versus people who do poly. The polyamorists next dooros cast The quantitive aspect was interesting While not terribly surprising I was disappointed to learn how prevalent what I think of as outdated and unhealthy models of polyamory are practiced For example Sheff says that the majority of the people that she interviewed practice some form of hierarchy I do wish she had distinguished with a bit nuance there between descriptive versus proscriptive hierarchy and hierarchy versus priorities But that is probably of a statement on the state of poly nomenclature than it is on her research I learned the most in the chapters dealing with poly families that is to say poly people with children I had already done a fair bit of research on the subject from other sources and had previously learned that the primary challenges tend to be from social stigma friends parents of friends other family members the children themselves and in extreme cases loss of custody The commonly mentioned up sides include having loving and supportive adults around and exposure to good communication skills. The polyamorists next door book pdf Sheffs research included all of those but also mentioned a number of other aspects that I hadn t heard about before For example children wishing for space and privacy in larger joined poly households the difficulty of merging complex poly households challenges surrounding financial dependency and legal guardianship and how to approach the close relationships that have formed between children and partners after a breakup Most of these new to me issues came up in cohabiting configurations and as Sheff points out many of them are not unique to polyamory As a side note I disliked the narration on the audio version of the book Most of the book was read in a monotone that was almost robotic But when reading quotes from the study participants the narrator would switch into accents including a Texan man s drawl the giggle of a young girl and an African American woman s emphatic attitude And yes it s just as cringe worthy as you re imagining 9781442222953 4. The polyamorists next doorx episodes 25 5I think this is an important read for anyone who knows humans in contemporary western society As much as we should all be aware of the issues that other minority and culturally vulnerable populations face and the contexts in which they live their lives polyamory is becoming increasingly prevalent and whether or not one considers that their orientation it is important to have the language to navigate when you encounter friends colleagues clients etc who are This book is a qualitative study and in that vein it is not a practical guide for those seeking to live a polyamorous life While I think it is a good primer for breaking down the social barriers between the hegemonic monogamous ideal that most of us are raised under be aware that this is definitely a research study In its vein it is well compiled supported and discussed from my perspective of doing that kind of research for the past decade or so Primarily focusing on families and impacts on children I think this study does a good job of covering the basics It is definitely feminist and LGBTQ friendly There are also keen insights drawn from polyamorist experiences that traditional relationships both romantic and not could learn from Particularly regarding communication openness and social support. Book the polyamorists next door review I recommend and in fact encourage everyone to read it if only to make yourself aware of a segment of the population that is both ignored and stigmatized 9781442222953 This book is based on Elisabeth Sheff s extensive grad school research as well as her personal experience with the polyamory lifestyle I found it to be extremely informative and useful in my own understanding and knowledge of this very growing segment of our population Elisabeth shared her own experience with both honesty and integrity I was impressed with her ability to organize her countless interviews of families which must have been a very grueling and time consuming project Up to this point my own studies were limited to journal articles Families come in many shapes and sizes Even here in Frisco Texas polyamory families exist and seek and deserve a competent and compassionate therapist On a personal note I could never be poly It would drive up my own anxiety already present in intimate relationships I enjoy monogamy and the closeness I feel with my one partner Poly lifestyles certainly aren t for everyone but they do work for many people In fact statistically they have the same chance of working out as your average monogamy couple So no need for judgement Thank you Ms Sheff I appreciate all of your hard work and dedication in sharing your knowledge with me 9781442222953

The Polyamorists Next Door: Inside Multiple-Partner Relationships and Families By Elisabeth Sheff

1442222956

9781442222953

English

325

Hardcover

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In the world of books about ethical nonmonogamy it s relatively rare to see ones that are obviously academic This is an academic book about nonmonogamous families Why is it you might wonder that there are academic books about every possible permutation of monogamous families queer families interracial families adoptive families urban families rural families immigrant families but this book or less stands alone Believe it or not this book answered that question for me before I even had it and the answer is sort of horrifying it s basically impossible to get a grant to write a book like this one Organizations that fund research into nontraditional families look askance at families where the parents are nonmonogamous so there s really very little money in books like these. The polyamorists next door book pdf Incidentally this squeamishness around the subject also scuttled some of Dr Sheff s research she was not permitted to retain the names and contact information of her subjects at the insistence of her first university s IRB so she tried to reconstruct her research pool years later online at which she was partially successful. Ebook the polyamorists next door summary All this to say is this book a bit patchy and could it have used probably an extra round of edits Yeah but I just appreciate that this book exists given the unyielding earth in which it had to be planted and I think it s particularly important to support books like these so that books can be written in this vein. The polyamorists next doory review g her explanation of the IRB situation and her narrative of her own aborted experience with polyamory I find academic research fascinating and I would hope that people who are actually living with multiple partners and kids would find it fascinating as well The pseudonyms get difficult to keep track of and I found myself wishing she had done simple things like using the same initial letter of a name for everyone in a single poly family But actually getting quotes from kids who had perhaps a mom and a dad and also another parent type person was moving See for instance While I was waiting to interview her older brother I chatted with three year old and a half she pointedly reminded me Kassie while she and Vanessa another preschooler visiting for a play date with Kassie played on the living room floor When I asked the girls what they were playing Kassie explained that the figures laid out before her were going on a trip and described the figures as Mommy Daddy Hercules the family dog my Dave and Bessie a plastic horse I asked her about my Dave whom I knew to be her parents boyfriend and she responded that he comes on the fun Then she gestured toward Vanessa and said She don t gots a Dave She just gots a mommy and a daddy It was clear from Kassie s story her facial expression and the sympathetic tone of her voice that she viewed Vanessa s lack of a Dave as a clear disadvantage. The polyamorists next door kindle download The real hot takes come at the very end and I wish they had formed their own book because these men establish relationships with their children even children with whom they do not share a genetic link independent of ongoing sexual relationships with their mothers. Book the polyamorists next door pdf Expanding men s social and legal options can help them stay connected to families and supporting families in general by valuing the functions and parts of family usually viewed as women s work The men do what previously was women s work the valued it will be If the real responsibilities of caring for children continue to fall only to women then too many children will remain in poverty and emotional need It is only when men are also as deeply responsible for children as are women that the kids will have the benefits of a wide base of support It would be better for children and for the many men who are unable or unwilling to live up to the requirements of conventional masculinity if we could allow men s personal emotional and relationship choices to expand as much as we have allowed women s to increase. The Polyamorists Next Door kindle cloud Yay for academic focus on the subject The dense reporting style was fine for what it was though I d have liked to see the places where the author starts to get a voice especially in the conclusion re polyaffectivity as a counter for toxic masculinity expanded. The Polyamorists Next doorout The allocishet white focus was unnecessary If the author had been willing to consider polyaffective behaviors rather than just survey people who identified as the word polyamorous she would have had a broader set of people from whom to draw including queer and racially diverse options And I m not even certain about her argument that only allocishet white people identify as such a simple Twitter search finds diverse representation than this book 9781442222953 I enjoyed the rich qualitative data gathered here but I didn t feel like Sheff took the analysis far enough There was not enough insight or original thought and the mix of very personal emotional experience and qualitative research did not make for very objective observation 9781442222953 I would give this a 4. Pdf the polyamorists next door book download 5 and actually recommend it to people who are NOT polyamorous in poly mono relationships or if they are poly then the ones who would enjoy an academic step outside look at polyamory and poly families For the subject matter alone this is groundbreaking but in case you are concerned this will be fairly dry Sheff also brings in her own personal brush with poly that makes the information presented resonate even deeply This is a pretty amazing work based on 15 years of research and it shows It is laid out like book length dissertation the first half of the book goes over the different type of poly relationships possible a bit of review if you ve read books about polyamory before and the demographics of who s in the poly community Sheff then details strengths and pitfalls of poly relationships using her own attempt at poly as a case in point example The last half to third of the book focuses on how different poly families operate turns out not that much different than other families especially blended ones All throughout Sheff includes direct quotes from poly folks and family members she interviewed and she closes by detailing how monogamous families may have some lessons to learn from poly families about resiliency as well as with a few policy recommendations that would acknowledge and allow for poly families in current society. The polyamorists next doors stanmore Sheff considers herself monogamous not a spoiler as it s in the intro which makes her exploration of this relationship style personally and academically fascinating and even convincing when she talks about its strengths even when she would not personally choose it And while I consider myself fairly well read on the topic with a unique focus on poly families If you want an insider look at poly families in their own words I think Stories From the Polycule Real Life in Polyamorous Families may be the better bet 9781442222953 .

, The polyamorists next door epub pdf Most of this book is presenting the results of Dr Sheff s long years of research though there are interstitials e. The polyamorists next doory review The book is flawed and the research isn t as complete as it could ve been under optimal circumstances white and lives in the U.S